


Inevitability

by KaenOkami



Series: Crona Week 2016 [2]
Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Based on a Tumblr Post, Canon - Manga, Child Abuse, Death Threats, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Guilt, Horror, Manga Spoilers, Memory Alteration, Needles, Potions, Regret, Survivor Guilt, Threats of Violence, Trauma, Unethical Experimentation, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 06:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5818219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaenOkami/pseuds/KaenOkami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes there really is no chance for a happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inevitability

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this post (http://kaen-daughter-of-loki.tumblr.com/post/130248032401/that-poor-kid) by jcrycolr3wradcse.

_“Pay no mind what other voices say; they don’t care about you like I do, like I do  
Safe from pain, and truth, and choice, and other poison devils  
See, they don’t give a fuck about you like I do  
Just stay with me, safe and ignorant; go back to sleep, go back to sleep.”_  
\- _Pet,_ A Perfect Circle

~0~

Logically speaking, it made perfect sense for Medusa to make her lair someplace that was out in the middle of nowhere, hardly accessible to regular people, and most importantly, very far away from Shibusen and the only people who had a chance of killing her. Eruka could understand that: for the older witch, the location meant safety, advantages. But for her, who had been given the order to retrieve Crona from Death City now that they were needed again, it meant weeks of dealing with the depressing little half-breed, something she had not been prepared for at _all._

_All you need to do is keep an eye on him. I doubt it will come into his head to run, but it won't matter if it does. He's been weakened by his time at Shibusen. Even you should be strong enough to restrain him and bring him back home in one piece._

Medusa’s instructions probably sounded perfectly simple to her, but it had only been four days and already Eruka had just about had it. Daytime was bad enough. Crona never talked to her unless she directly asked them something, and even then they would only mutter one or two indistinct words. Other than that, they just shuffled at her side, never lifting their head, letting themself be led like a beaten dog on a leash. Probably Crona remembered just who held _her_ leash, she thought, and was reasoning that there was little difference; or maybe they were just too miserable to do anything but passively obey, no matter who was directing them. Their expression hadn’t changed since she’d retrieved them from Death City: pale and drawn, their eyes flat and dull and more often than not brimming with tears. Sometimes she wondered what was going through their head, but then immediately reminded herself that she probably _really_ didn’t want to know anyway, especially after night fell.

Eruka huddled by the small, admittedly pathetic campfire she had managed to build in this small earthy space of the woods (she didn’t know any flame spells, and judging from the way Medusa’s eyes would light up at the idea of setting fires, she probably didn’t want to ask her for any pointers), and looked over it again at the half-breed on the other side. Though Crona slept deeply, it didn’t seem to provide them even a bit of relief. They whimpered like a child in their sleep, their eyes squeezed shut, and they trembled and scratched at the grass in which they lay as if trying to grab hold of something.

The thought of helping them return safely back to Death City never crossed Eruka’s mind. Protecting her own neck was and always had been her first priority, after all, and disobeying Medusa would be suicide. But still, there was no question that Crona would be better off there by a long shot. Sure, they were still nervous and uncertain as ever, most of the time ready to panic at a moment’s notice; a few weeks with people kinder than their mother would hardly be enough to break years of her conditioning. But she had watched their face light up like the sun when their friends would come to pick them up from their little basement cell, and they would still be smiling long after coming back from spending the day out with them. Somehow, she doubted that they were used to any of that. 

She wondered just how much Crona must be missing all of it right now, and she wondered if they realized that there was no going back from here. Even if Shibusen was willing to welcome them back, should they actually manage to make it there, Medusa would never let them go again after an oversight like this. And even so, the impact their friends had left on them, whatever changes they had set in motion, wouldn’t be erased so easily...A shiver ran down Eruka’s spine as she imagined how the colder, crueler witch would think to repair whatever damage she decided had been done. 

_Do you have any idea what kind of mistake you made by coming along with me?_ she thought.

“M...Maka...”

Eruka was startled for a moment, but then calmed somewhat when she saw that Crona wasn’t talking to her, just mumbling in their sleep again. But it was harder to relax when she saw them unconsciously reaching out for someone miles away, their face scrunched in confusion and fear. 

“M-Maka...Ma...”

She sighed. _Best to forget about her, half-breed. She's not getting you back now._

~0~

Crona barely registered the long journey from Death City to their old home. Everything passed in a blur of light and dark that they couldn’t identify or remember, as they walked the whole way barely conscious of where they were going, lost in memories of the ones they were further and further away from with every minute. 

But the moment they stepped through the door of their destination, everything snapped into perfect clarity.

“Welcome home, Crona.”

Their head jerked to the side before the last word was out of her mouth, and it took them a moment to remember to look _down_ now. Once again, it surprised them to see how little difference there was between the two forms. True, their mother was smaller now (looking even more so next to the colossal werewolf in the room), with softer and rounder features. But no innocent-looking body could take away the calculating look in her eyes or the vicious pride in her smile. _See, she needs you, she’s glad to have you back,_ they tried to think when they saw her expression, only half able to force the images of kinder smiles from their mind. But no - _You don’t believe that. She’s just gloating._

Even so, they heard themself saying, “I’m happy to be back with you, Medusa-sama.”

She laughed lightly, as if their dull tone was convincing. “How nice. Now, come with me.” She turned and started to walk out of the room, gesturing over her shoulder, and Crona automatically followed her. “We’ve lost too much time already. There’s a certain potion I just finished - ”

“Hey, now, wait a minute,” Free cut in, turning his attentions away from Eruka (who not-so-subtly moved behind him for fear of a confrontation) to address the older witch. “Crona and Eruka haven’t been back here a minute, don’t they need to rest before they get right back to working?”

Crona, taken aback, had stopped for a moment to listen, but Medusa hadn’t even turned to look at the Immortal. “You and Eruka can do what you want, but Crona is different than you two. This is what he was made for. There's been enough interference with his progress already, I don't need any from you too. Come on now, Crona.” She took a few more steps before realizing that she didn't hear her child behind her anymore, and turned around to look at them with a falsely innocent expression. “Crona? Didn’t you hear me?”

“I...” Their heart was pounding now with memories they couldn’t keep back, of a much warmer pair of gold eyes, of a tight embrace and the scent of flowers and honey and long blonde hair. _Of the mother you wish was yours - no, no, no, you have to_ forget _about her!_

They jumped when they felt Medusa touch their hand. “I know - you must still feel a little lost, coming back from everything being so confusing, and me not looking quite myself on top of that. But it’s all right now. All you need to do, is just listen to what I tell you. It will feel much better once you get back to what you’re used to, won’t it?”

_A hand on their shoulder, a smile, “You’re free to join our group at your own pace. There’s no need to rush.”_

The memories, their mother’s cool gaze, they _hurt_ but they couldn’t make it stop - !

_“Why are you all so nice to me...?”_

_“Isn’t it obvious? We’re your friends!”_

Their eyes were so warm, all so _warm..._

Medusa raised an eyebrow, her voice taking on a warning tone. “Crona?”

They gave themself a shake. This _had_ to stop, that was all over now! “Y-Yes, ma’am, it will. Thank you.”

“Good child. Now, come with your mother, we have work to do...”

She dropped their hand and continued to lead them toward the entrance to the basement lab (while Free and Eruka lingered in the front hall), and Crona trembled harder with every step, conflicting thoughts whirling in their head even more fiercely than they had on the way there. 

_It’s over, she said, you can’t ever go back! But why not? I want to...I want to see everyone again! But your mother needs you, you can’t say no to her, this is where someone like you belongs...Medusa-sama made you, raised you, owns you, just do what she says and everything will be okay. But everything felt okay in Death City, too -_ better, _even! Everyone was so kind to me, even though I didn’t deserve it. They would never hurt me, they protected me, and my mother...my own mother..._

With some difficulty, Medusa pushed open one of the doors to the lab (grumbling a little to herself about how _heavy_ they had all become) and started down the stairs. The sharp smells of chemicals and metal from the rooms below burned Crona’s nose and lit a spark of deep-rooted fear within them, loosed a flood of still more memories of bare skin against a cold table and the bite of a scalpel’s blade and their veins burning as fire seared through them, bleeding crying shrieking _starving -_

They froze on the stairway, their heart pounding, one solitary realization screaming in their mind.

_I chose wrong...I can’t stay here, I have to get back to Shibusen!_

Sensing their hesitation, Medusa turned back again, eyes narrowing at the look on her child’s face. “Crona, whatever you’re thinking - ”

Impulsiveness was, possibly, the worst thing to bring into a situation like this. But Crona knew that one word, one flash of their mother’s eyes, could instantly bring them back to heel if they let it. And they couldn’t let that happen, not again! So without another thought, they whipped around and bolted back through the halls as fast as they could, focused only on reaching the front door. _I don’t know what I’ll do once I’m outside, or how I'll lose Medusa-sama...But first I just have to get out of here!_

Their desperation was matched, apparently, by their mother’s complete calmness. From behind them, Crona heard her shout, in a tone that was commanding but not urgent, “Free! Grab Crona!”

“Wh-What?” came the Immortal’s startled voice from ahead.

“Just do it! And don’t let him go!”

_He’s confused, good! And he’s bigger and stronger than me, but I can be faster than him - I_ have _to be faster than him!_ Crona put on another burst of speed as they reached the front room; they could see the twisted trees outside, could feel the chill of the wind -

An arm the size of a log grabbed them around the waist, knocking the breath out of them, and another wrapped around their torso as Free picked them up and held them against his chest. “Damn it, kid,” he growled, moving to awkwardly kick at the front door, and Crona’s heart dropped as they heard it slam shut. “What are you trying to do?”

Crona tried their best to twist around and look Free in the face. “Please, you have to help me. Let me go, let me get out of here!”

Free was speechless for a moment, never having heard Crona speak above a murmur before. Eruka spoke up instead, her voice high and shaking. “F-Free, no, we can’t! She’ll kill me!”

“Please...” They turned their gaze to Eruka, but she wouldn’t meet their eyes. “Tell her you lost me, pretend I hurt you, _anything,_ just - !”

“Begging never earned you anything before, Crona,” Medusa remarked dryly as she stepped into the room. “What gave you the idea that it would save you now?”

Swallowing hard, Crona forced themself to look their mother in the eyes. “I don’t want to be with you any more,” they said, trying as much as they could to imitate Maka’s hard-as-steel battle glare and willing their voice not to waver. “I’m done taking orders from someone like you! I’m going back to Shibusen!”

Medusa smirked. “You’ve always been so _adorable,_ Crona,” she said, and Crona’s stomach grew hot with anger at the mockery. “If you really wanted to stay at Shibusen, you would have told someone about me as soon as I returned to you. But you stayed silent, as cowardly as ever, and it’s too late to change anything now. Though to be fair, there isn’t much your little circle of friends could have done to keep me from taking you back. They’re even more worthless than you.”

“They’re all better than you, so much better than you!” Crona cried out, their voice turning fierce at their friends being insulted. “I deserve _them,_ not you! I’m never going to kill for you ever again!”

She gave a light laugh that sent a shiver down Crona’s spine. “And I see that they left you with the impression that you have a choice in the matter. Free, let’s go...” she added, turning back around to return to the lab. “I was hoping to get this done quickly and easily, but it appears that I’ve been left with no choice, either.”

Crona’s face went bone white. Fear of whatever unknown pain was in store for them made them freeze for a moment, and then start writhing and pushing against Free’s arms and hands, trying in vain to break free again. Free barely seemed to notice, only exchanging a stricken look with Eruka before tightening his hold on Crona and obligingly following the witch out.

~0~

At the side of the operating room, Medusa watched the pair in the middle of the room with a mixture of amusement and pride. She had instructed Free to strap Crona down to the table, which she had assumed would be an easy task, but for the first time in their life her child was not going down quietly. Though their legs were secured, at least, Crona was struggling like an animal in a trap, twisting around trying to jump off the table and clawing long scratches on the Immortal’s forearms, howling at the top of their lungs. Their eyes were stretched wide and the irises had faded to the palest blue, and she saw fire in them of the kind she hadn’t seen even in the deepest depths of their madness. The sight made her smile: she had thought that Crona was incapable of this sort of wild determination to fight, and it would be interesting to see later if she could trigger it again in a way more useful to her. 

After a particularly shrill cry from Crona, she heard a small, pained whimper from beside her, and she turned to see Eruka cringing and biting her lip as she leaned over the lab bench. She was trying to fill a syringe with the first part of the potion, a task Medusa had thought would be simple even for her, but her fingers were trembling so badly that she was in danger of dropping both the syringe and the vial. Medusa rolled her eyes, then got up on a nearby stool and took them out of her hands. 

“You’re a witch, you shouldn’t be losing your nerve now,” she chastised her. “I’ll do this myself, you go and help Free.”

Eruka gave a quick jerk of her head and hurried off, less eager to help than eager to be away from the older witch. It took Medusa a minute to fill the syringe herself (thinking irritably that the day she returned to an adult body couldn't come soon enough), and then she turned her attention back to the others. “Free, make sure his arms stay down,” she instructed as she approached them. “Eruka, keep his head still and his mouth shut. If he’s anything at all like me, he _will_ try to bite.”

When she reached the table, Free had managed to get a solid grip on Crona’s wrists, but Eruka, whose arms were far weaker, was having little success. Crona’s mouth was held shut but they were still trying to twist away, breathing hard through their nose, their muffled cries growing even more desperate. Eruka was whispering anxiously in their ear, “Come on, Crona, just calm down and get this over with, it’ll be okay,” but her attempts at comfort were ignored. 

“She’s right, you know,” Medusa said, climbing up to sit beside them on the table. “This would be over much more easily if you stopped throwing this little fit and let me get this done. I thought I raised you better than this.” With that, she stuck the needle into Crona’s neck and pushed down the plunger, snorting derisively at the whine of pain this elicited from them as she pulled it back out again. “Oh, stop it. That didn’t hurt. You two can let go, he's harmless now.”

Both Free and Eruka stepped back hesitantly, expecting another round of struggling, but Crona lay as still as a corpse, only their eyes moving frantically from one face to another. “Medusa...What exactly was that stuff?” Free asked nervously.

“To put it simply, the potion I’m using to fix him comes in two parts. This first part paralyzes the body and weakens the mind to make it easier for the second part to take effect,” Medusa explained, tying the remaining restraints into place and sliding back off the table. “Eruka, watch him. Free, come help me bring the rest in.”

~0~

It had taken five minutes for Medusa and Free to return with the IV equipment and slip a needle into each of Crona’s thin wrists, letting the thick, clear liquid start to flow into their veins, and it had been twenty more since they had left to go work on the plans for infiltrating Arachnophobia. Eruka was starting to wonder how much longer she would be left sitting here in this cold, empty room, determinedly not looking at the face of the child strapped to the table. Though Crona could neither speak nor move their body, they could move their eyes and, with considerable effort, turn their head, and they had been just staring at her this entire time. _This is worse than the trip in here,_ she thought wearily. _Why can’t Medusa just do this herself?_

Tentatively, she glanced over her shoulder to see if they were still doing it, and then turned back away again the second she saw those big blue eyes still determinedly trained on her, silently pleading for help. “Look, you can stop looking at me like a kicked puppy now,” she huffed. “Whatever you’re expecting me to do for you, I can’t, okay? I just can’t, and you know damn well why, so just knock it off.” 

She was expecting that to be the end of it, and almost jumped out of her skin when she got a response. 

“Eru...ka...” She whirled around, certain that this time she’d just been hearing things, until she saw Crona’s lips move again. “H-Help...me...”

“D-Didn’t you hear me? I can’t!” 

“P...Please,” they rasped, straining for every syllable. “M-My mind’s g-going...all fuzzy...I don’t...I-I need...”

“Listen, I’m _sorry,_ okay?! I’m really sorry! But there’s nothing I can do for you now!” Eruka cried, hating how close her voice was to breaking on the last word. “What, do you want me to throw you over my shoulder and run you all the way back to Death City? If I so much as undid your straps, your mother would have my head!”

“Indeed I would,” Medusa said as she stepped soundlessly into the room, and rolled her eyes again when Eruka yelped and covered her face defensively at being caught off guard. “Your cowardice truly disgusts me sometimes, Eruka. Out, now - I’ll take over.”

Eruka obediently scurried out of the room without giving either of them another look, as Medusa pulled the stool from the side of the room over to the table, right next to Crona’s head. “Don’t worry - the potion should go into full effect soon enough. You won’t have to feel this way for much longer.” 

When this only earned her a glare from her child, she snickered. “You know, not too long ago, you would never have thought of running away from me, or looking at me with that kind of hatred,” she said softly, stroking their cheek with one small finger. “You probably don’t remember, but when you were very young you used to always want to be near me. You’d come dashing up to me with such trust in your eyes, trying to jump into my arms, clinging on to my leg because you didn’t want to be away from me...You grew out of that, of course, but the point is, up until a few weeks ago, I thought I had raised such a good and loyal child. Look at you now, so disappointing. What kind of child would so callously abandon its own mother?”

Crona made a small sound of protest in their throat, and Medusa stopped to hear what they would try to say. “I...don’t...b-belong...”

“Here?” she finished, moving down to Crona’s jawline. “Don't delude yourself. I created you. Your life is mine, and always has been, to do with as I please.”

Their eyes narrowed, and they tried to speak more forcefully. “N... _No_...I’m - !” Their breath hitched, and their head jerked as if from a sudden pain.

Medusa smiled. “Excellent. It looks like the potion is kicking in. You won’t be conflicted about who to serve for much longer.”

“Wh-What?” 

“Don’t sound so upset, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Soon enough, what happened in Death City will be less than a dream to you, and everything can return to normal.”

She hadn’t thought that Crona’s face could go any paler, but it did. They tried again weakly to move, only managing a twitch. “P-Please...” they begged, sounding all of five years old, as their eyes started to glaze over. “I...I w-want to go home...I...”

Their plea trailed off as the potion in their veins took hold of them completely and their body went limp, their eyes open but lightless. Medusa’s smile broadened: the experimental mixture was working exactly as she had hoped, and before long it would erase all of Shibusen’s contamination from Crona’s mind and allow her to pick right back up where she had left off with them. 

_And not a minute too soon,_ she thought as she jumped back off the stool and left to rejoin Eruka and Free. _I have too much riding on that child to let them try to become Shinigami’s tool instead of mine._

~0~

It occurred to Free that it shouldn’t have taken him this long to speak up. He was grateful to Medusa for breaking him out of prison, true. He was also grateful that she had done so without expecting anything in return - ostensibly, at least, he was beginning to have his doubts about what she’d said that first night. But seeing the smugness on her face (on her sister’s face? The body didn’t really belong to her, after all) as they made the journey back to her hideout from the ruins of Baba Yaga Castle, knowing exactly what she planned to do once she returned, which excited her and made him feel sick...That made up his mind. 

“Hey, Medusa?” he asked after a few moments of deliberation on his words, trying for as neutral a tone as he could. “I get that you’re already too far into whatever you’re doing to Crona to reverse it now - at least, as far as I know, I’m sure you’re smart enough to do that if you wanted to - but are you sure you want to fully go through with it?”

The witch didn’t even look at him (it was really starting to annoy him, the way she did that), but gave a theatrical sigh and replied, “Of course I am. I told you before, Free: Crona is different from anything else in this world. _This is what he was made for._ I don’t know how much clearer I can make it.”

“But you saw how he acted, we were _hurting_ him - ”

“Well, sometimes parents have to make these tough decisions for their child’s own good, don’t they?”

Free’s eyes widened. She didn’t expect him to swallow that line, did she? “You can’t - ”

“Do you know why I chose to break you out of prison, Free?” Medusa cut him off, and he stayed silent and listened out of surprise at the abrupt change in subject. “There are several reasons, actually. One of them is that from the first time I heard about you, two hundred years ago, you sparked my interest. I respected your strength and your daring, and I wondered what sort of person you must be to do what you did and not care about the consequences. Another reason, that I suppose goes hand in hand with the last one, is that you reminded me of my father.”

“Your...father?” he echoed. That had been just about the last thing he’d expected to hear. “I thought most witches didn’t know their fathers.”

“Mm, most don’t, but I got lucky. Mine was one of the strongest creatures I have ever had the good fortune to know. He was half witch and half Immortal, born with only a stunted version of an Immortal’s abilities but the full power of a witch. When I was young, I was in absolute awe of those powers, but unfortunately I couldn't respect him as a person quite as much.”

_Well. Are there_ any _family members you actually give a damn about?_ Free kept himself from saying. “Oh, really? Why not? Was he a bad dad or something?” _Because that would explain a lot, come to think of it..._

“Not in the way you must be thinking. He used to say that, save for his wife, his children were the only good things that had ever happened to him. He would have done anything for us, and I do mean _anything;_ he would have killed for us, eventually did die for us, we needed only ask and we would receive, so long as our mother wasn’t around to curb his overeagerness to please.”

“You know, this is all very interesting, but that must have been centuries ago. What’s it got to do with what’s happening now?”

“Because you share my father’s tendency to let your feelings get in the way of doing what should be done. As I understand it, you share his desire to change the way Shinigami has his soldiers practice population control on your kind. He used to say he would do whatever he had to in order to change it, but I wonder...If the only way to do that were to sacrifice his wife or one of his children, he would have gone back on that promise immediately. And now, I’m the one who’s actually enacting a plan to change this world for the better, and instead of supporting me you’re _balking_ now just because of what that plan requires.”

Free’s eyes narrowed. “But you’re not like your father. Torturing Crona is hardly a _sacrifice_ for you - ”

“And you were hardly complaining when I told you to help me with that, were you? I thought you would be a stronger man than my father, but it would appear I misjudged you. Your bodies are strong...” Medusa turned to look at him then, her eyes scornful, the gold even brighter next to the newly black hair. “But your hearts are _weak.”_

“Weak, am I?” His lips curled back into a feral imitation of a smile, baring long, sharp teeth. “Smart of you to wait to throw around insults like that until you’re _not_ small enough for me to throw in the air and punt into space. But even now, how do you think you’re going to get away with crap like that? You can’t subdue me like you would Crona or Eruka.”

Free was surprised when, instead of backing down like most tended to do when confronted with a snarling werewolf, Medusa gave her own vicious smile. “Of course I can. You see, Father also left me something very important: the secret of how to permanently kill an Immortal. He wanted his precious daughters to never be at a disadvantage even against them, you see.” Upon seeing the absolute shock on his face, she snickered. “I figured that I would need something to hold over your head once the novelty of being out of prison wore off. How would you like to burn alive, Free? My father was lucky enough to inherit his mother's fire magic, and on one occasion I watched him incinerate five Immortals at once with just a snap of his fingers; it was _wonderful.”_

“You don't have that magic,” Free snarled. “You’re not that good.”

“Do you really want to test that theory? You don't know how I've been trained. I wouldn’t want to waste your life, but I promise you that if you interfere with my work, I won't just kill you. Eruka will burn first, and then you - I wonder, does anyone really know whether Immortals actually _die_ when they turn to ash, or are you trapped that way, still conscious, for eternity? And if that's not enough, Crona will watch every second of it and afterward I’ll make sure he knows that it was all his fault. No one will ever be able to tell him otherwise.”

“You w - ” Free broke off. _No - she_ definitely _would. And she'd enjoy it, too._

“I believe we understand each other now?” 

His blood boiled at being belittled this way, but he had to admit that she was right: he couldn’t risk being killed for good just yet, and he _certainly_ couldn’t risk costing Eruka her life or Crona yet another piece of their already fragile sanity. “I suppose we do,” he said through gritted teeth. “But I just want you to know: right now, I _really hate_ your father.”

“So did a lot of people,” Medusa said dismissively, turning back away from him. “I’m glad we got this little issue of yours sorted out. We should hurry back home - Crona’s been waiting for me, after all.”

~0~

Years later, when the witch’s threats of torture and murder had died with her, and Eruka and Free (who had, without ever formally agreeing to, wound up roaming the earth together), were able to live, for the most part, without fear. Both agreed that the world was starting to become a more peaceful place to live, though only time would tell if it would stay that way.

However, there were things that they could never forget, even if the world really was changing for the better.

Nights were difficult. Free was, by this point, almost completely resigned to the fact that he would never see moonlight again. Every time the sun went down, the darkness that took its place was so deep and heavy that he could swear it was pressing down on him, the weak light of the stars not enough to even touch it. It had gotten so that the two of them always went to sleep pressed up against each other, because it simply felt safer that way. 

Eruka never looked up at the night sky any more. She avoided the black moon just as she had avoided Crona’s eyes back then, and Free understood exactly why she did. Every time he looked up at the inky darkness enveloping the moon, a cold wave of guilt turned his stomach. Inevitably, the memories floated into his mind: Crona terrified and helpless as a lab rat on the operating table; Medusa in her sister’s stolen body, sitting beside her unconscious child with a self-satisfied smile, eager for them to wake up and continue their training; the dead-eyed child’s body melding with the Clown’s and transforming into something monstrous; the growing chaos of their warped soul, so strong and unnatural that even someone like him could sense it. And after those had come and gone, he would start to think back to everything he could have done differently.

_I should have let you go when you asked me to._

_I should have pretended I never saw you running._

_I should have said “no” before the damage was done._

_I should have killed Medusa myself, consequences be damned._

Wide awake in the middle of the night, with Eruka curled up fast asleep at his side, Free stared up at the moon and wondered what was going through the mind of the child trapped inside it. Whatever was happening in there, he could only hope that it was, at the very least, better than what they had endured on earth. From what he had heard, that young scythe-meister had sworn to free them one day, but Free didn’t see how that would ever be possible. 

_She can’t save you any more,_ he thought forlornly. _I had my chances to keep this from ever happening in the first place, and I wasted them. I’m sorry, Crona. I should have protected you._

~0~


End file.
